Yet another escapee from whatever nightmarish otherworld is bleeding into this reality via my goddamn kitchen ceiling.
Tag: megaspider
I don’t consider myself arachnophobic, I am generally quite well-disposed towards spiders. I like ‘em, I think they’re cool. But at the risk of laying myself open to accusations of irrational prejudice, I really would prefer not to find this NIGHTMARE HELLBEAST in my MOTHERFUCKING BEDROOM.
Aside from the fact that it is so huge I can hear it breathing and its legs extend mercilessly into the infinite like the arms of Death itself, its presence is upsetting because it prompts the question: what the fuck does it eat?
At this point I am actually hoping I find a gigantic cobweb dense as fog and littered with fox bones and osprey feathers, because otherwise that means this thing was just biding its time.
Things I did today:
Dug up a dead fox; cycled to the most depressing supermarket in the world, bought a baffling colouring book; fed Bear Cub the stray; finally got around to cleaning behind the cacti; got stabbed in the eye by an aloe vera; found three very dead moths, one butterfly and a megaspider. I don’t know what the Latin name for this species is, as in my experience its entire geographical range is localised solely within this house, but I can tell you that it’s unusually large for this country/climate/side-of-the-thin-veil-separating-this-reality-from-a-nightmarish-Lovecraftian-netherworld-of-monsters.